I’m still around. I haven’t been posting because it hurts to talk, hurts to reach out, hurts to get support.

I don’t know if anyone will even read this, but I kind of hope not.

I don’t know what to say.

I got out of residential treatment in September, and just finished twelve weeks of IOP.

I’m trying harder to recover than I did the last time I got out of residential treatment, but I’ve still been managing to lose weight, hide food, and restrict this entire time. I’ve been doing much better on that lately, though. I was self-harming for a while, but I haven’t done so in several weeks now. Things are far from perfect, but I’ve been so so so so much worse.

I’m hiding in my room a lot, and isolating, and I can’t even return emails or facebook messages. So along with that comes the not-being-on-here thing.

But I am alive.

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